..as making a last-ditch effort to make your child take a nap (like, it’s 5:00, if she doesn’t sleep now, it won’t happen), only to hear her screaming and crying from her room, and saying random things like “Mama get up? Mama get up??? Mama???????? [wailing]. I set myself up for failure, I know, by anticipating nap time, imagining what I’ll do while she’s asleep, and hoping it’ll happen. Or maybe she set me up—she’s been actually taking one-hour (or a little longer) naps at home lately, which still strikes me as so weird.

Actually, maybe the most relaxing thing ever is that moment when you buckle your whining/crying child in her carseat, and then shut her door, and there you are in the parking lot in perfect silence. Maybe there’s a crying kid in the car? Maybe not? Maybe you don’t have a car—maybe you’re a single, childless girl on a walking tour of the southeast. You can really feel your spine straightening as you sloowwlly walk from the baby’s door to the driver’s side. One last long breath through the nose. The perfect silence and clarity of the air, split second of astonishment that you are in love with a parking lot, then head ducking back underwater as you open the driver’s door and get into the car.

You’re welcome, world!