Indeed they are. I wish I had time to detail all the reasons & the specifics of the outworkings, but the baby has been asleep for such a long time (~15 minutes) that I’m sure she’ll wake up soon, and I’ve been trying, lately, to delete the “I have to get stuff done” imperative from my life, and add a “so what to I get to do with Mary today?” imperative. It’s doing a lot for me, and—miraculously—allowing me to actually do some things I wanted to do. So I don’t want to try and white-knuckle stuff out while juggling the baby around. I’m getting better at this motherhood thing I think. I could go into so much more detail…which probably means I should, at some point soon. I haven’t figured out who can watch the baby though. That’s on the list of things to do: find someone to watch the baby for a few hours every week while I work/write.

But I got on here because I just finished Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions, something I started reading while I was pregnant and then stopped, because it was making me worry about new motherhood a lot, and I was trying to gear up for labor by surrounding myself with as much positivity as possible, and this book is a mess. So, when I actually had my baby, and my life became the most ridiculous and shocking mess that has ever existed, I realized this book was exactly what I needed. It was.

Laying it down, just now, I also realized that, WTF, I just READ A BOOK. Oh my god. I thought I “couldn’t do anything.” Apparently…I can read books. This is amazing. And great. So when people recommend books to me, I can actually consider reading them. So I’m going to. Erase all the amazing titles I read while in grad school from my “Books I’m Reading” page, sigh—! and begin again. New books, new life.

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