1. In spite of continual waking in the night, last night, because of fidgety baby in growth spurt, and worrying about her being too cold, I feel actually pretty ok today.

2. I just had toast, coffee, and all my vitamins without the baby waking up. Ha.

3. Baby freaked out last night, was inconsolable, and then choked on the “gripe water” I was anxiously droppering in her mouth—froth, blue lips, terrible lapses of breath—so we put her in the car at 10:30pm and went to walmart to buy a baby swing, which she likes.

4. Since I couldn’t find my house-shoes this morning, I put on real shoes, and then felt I should put on real clothes, so now I feel like a real person.

5. Megan predicted that 2015 would be another year of babies, as 2013 was, and so far I have three pregnant friends.

6. I’m having this unexplainable feeling of buoyancy right now, that I think has something to do with having been able (name THAT verb tense) (ha) (if that was a gameshow I would so watch it, omg) to effing drink a whole cup of coffee sans interruption, and wearing real clothes, but also seeing photos of the women’s march on Nashville from the Nashville Scene. It reminded me that people get out of the house and do things, and while (see previous post) I’ve enjoyed my new-mother-hermitage, I’m beginning to feel like I want to begin doing other things again. And it’s not an overwhelming thought, anymore.

7. I have to start poetasting again. I simply must. Marshall and I—in a fit of new-parent-sleep-deprived-misery—decided that spending money on some new grownup toys would make us feel better, so we both got smartphones. I know. Satan is on my speed dial, now. But anyways, I anticipated a couple weeks of high interest levels in my phone, and that is happening (I’m on Instagram, now, for instance), and I’m starting to feel a little gross about it. I’ve found myself getting mad at my baby for squirming or whining while I’m trying to do something on my phone. Like I said, Satan. So, I need to start technology weaning, and writing.

8. The house is pretty messy, but I cleaned the kitchen and did so many dishes, yesterday.

9. I also roasted a chicken yesterday and made some broth from the carcass, which I have to re-heat and strain today. If I can jar up that broth, do laundry, vacuum the bedroom, and write a poem, today I will have been Superwoman.

10. My husband is sensitive, supportive, hard-working, and another long boring list of adjectives & adjectival phrases. I never expected to be so loved. My moments of fragility and profound frustration, in the past month and a half, have been lit by his candlelight. I thought having kids was supposed to ruin marriages, but we are not being ruined … How astonishing life is, and will always, always be.

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