So I was checking facebook to see what all was going on before I start working on the afternoon list of works, and was suckered (by self) into clicking the “trending” article about Sophia Loren’s “side-eye” in a 1957 photo of her and Jayne Mansfield. I had never seen that photo before, and I laughed—out loud. It’s worth a couple of views. Hahaha. Oh, man. Do check it out. And then I thought, “who’s this Jayne Mansfield babe?” and googled her, and then started scrolling down the image search results because she’s what people in the TV or fashion industry of today would call “full-figured,” or “fat.” In fact, she would be completely buxom, completely gorgeous, and completely hot in any decade in any culture of the world. Since I’m bigger in every (physical) dimension than I have ever been, or ever hope to be again, these were compelling photos. Such as. Her thighs and ass appear to be not appreciably smaller than mine, and check out how smokin’ hot they are.

Has anyone ever had any success in changing their own minds about how unattractive they feel while pregnant? I mean, I realize that tons of pregnant women feel extremely attractive, and that’s so great for them, I’m just wondering about the rest of us. This brings to mind the (supposedly) French maxim that the most attractive women are the ones who feel attractive, and act like it. It was much more succinctly phrased when I first read it. I have now spread it out like butter on toast.

Rant over. Wipe those tears of compassion off your face and go about your business.