Y’ALL. I don’t have preeclampsia. Kind nurse from Lisa Ross Birth & Women’s Center just called to tell me all my labs came back normal. So my kidneys and liver are working fine, and my platelets are fine—I forget what else they were looking at. Uric acid. Anyways, I guess I can live with weird vision as long as I know I’m not about to die (or my unborn child). Reading about preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome was so much more traumatic than reading about thyroid issues or PIH—omg. Every website uses this metaphor to describe artery/vein/placental damage caused by high blood pressure: a garden hose hooked up to a fire hydrant. That is so awful.

Anyways, calming down. Now I can do stuff today besides drag around feeling ill. Yay. What is wrong with me.

I texted sister-in-law last night to reschedule our beer-date—because of dragging around feeling ill—and told her I was having a worry-fest. She said, “Oh btw. Welcome to motherhood.” The worry-fest that never ends. Maybe if I figure out how to be serene now, I’ll have a better shot at being serene later. She also said she was having a vision of me trying to maintain yogic calm the first time my baby poops on me, and included a “Ha!” Whatever. I will strive for serenity. And it will be here sometimes and not other times. Probably trying to be serene about that is some kind of initial step towards the apprehension of that great Platonic form of Ultimate Calm.

In other news, I had my first baby shower, which my Mom organized. It was a children’s books baby shower, and it was so awesome. It was a small gathering, because Mom mostly just invited people she knew liked kids’ books, and everyone who came brought like 2-5 books, and we all sat around oohing and ahhing over childhood favorites. I was so completely pleased to get copies of Animalia, another book by Graeme Base that I’d never heard of, JumanjiHarold and the Purple Crayon, Francis (the badger) books, Frog & Toad books, Berenstein Bears books, The Story of Ferdinand, Little Bear books, The Man Who Lost His HeadWhen We Were Very Young Now We are Six, and tons more. Ha. So wonderful. It was so great, too, to get books that were other people’s favorites. I’ve been reading all the ones I hadn’t heard of, and some of them are really great.

Marshall said something about how I shouldn’t get super attached to these books because they’re not mine, they’re the baby’s, and I was like, HA! NO WAY! No way is a baby getting these awesome books. Psh. They’re totally mine. Phuh. (Can  you imagine. What would a baby do with all these cool books. Tear them up and eat them. Not if I have anything to say about it. I’ll spank that baby’s hand if she tries anything. Just kidding. But you know.)

I’m also doing penance for never getting wedding present thank you cards out by doing thank you cards for these books. I found completely perfect ones on Etsy, too.