I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s Friday, or that—after two weeks of rain and snow—the sun is finally out, or that everyone is exhausted and deliriously awaiting Spring Break, or a spicy soup of all three, but teaching has really sucked today.  Teacher tantrum time.

Neither section read the assigned readings, so questions basically solicited nothing but blank stares.  My 8am section mostly avoided eye contact and sat in glum silence, and one student who is a real prize kept making silent eye contact with a defiant gleam.  Thanks for that, prize student.  I know I’m not your mother.  You don’t have to tell me.  (This is the guy who told me, earlier in the semester, that he and his buddy had been counting the number of times I said “um” in class, and thought the number was significant enough to share.  Thanks again.)

My 11:15am section avoided eye contact some, but mostly kept starting conversations among themselves.  Now, I realize that this has something to do with me wearing jeans instead of dress pants, or not being authoritative enough, or not taking loud enough ownership of classtime, but I actually feel a little hoarse for trying to shout everyone down.  No amount of coaxing, prodding, or pleading availed.  And it’s especially disconcerting to be continually catching male students looking at parts of me other than my face.  Just—weird. On so many levels.

I guess sometimes everyone just feels incompetent at her/his job, whether s/he is or not.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself.  That, and I’d like to go to the mountains and never come back.

I guess it’s just the fact that it’s Friday, and I want to be outside, and I’m exhausted and deliriously awaiting Spring Break.

 

 

 

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