Human beings are fuel for constant study, wonder, because three pounds of brain and a hundred-some-odd pounds of water and blood and bone weight are traveling every day between universes.  Who would believe that such things could be understood?  Who would believe that such things could be felt?  The artists and poets, musicians, are reaching behind Andromeda with their hands, the tips of their pens brushing the far side with as much clarity as can be imagined in this world where we live, where we have to eat, drink, sleep.  Isn’t it strange that the strangest thing to us, then, is what we don’t understand?  More profound than that is: why do we understand what we understand? 

Why do we feel like we might explode with the concussion of a supernova when our hearts break?  Why does each successive break not leave it in crumbs?  How, in other words, do crumbs break with the sound of the split atom? 

The most profound mystery is how I can feel that force of breaking, but I’m less interested in that than I am in what it can mean.  Or, maybe that’s the same thing.  Where does this point but the LORD?  Who sketched the paths for the lightning, who laid the underwater water mains, who covered the ocean floor with water, who engineered us to breath oxygenated air.  I guess the immensity that hardly makes sense in us is another product of the true Immensity, God, you know. 

I guess I’m ok with having my circuits blown again.  And again.  Fuck.  God, take care of me.  But I mean, having circuits blown is good — it’s GREAT — because of my propensity to fall again and again into living smally.  Living is not small.  Never was, never will be.  It’s immense.  More immense because of all this obscurity, like it’s a war or something, like we’re living in occupied territory.  Somebody wants you to think living is small, but you find the underground that’s meeting in your neighbor’s basement and listening to the BBC on the radio, hearing about the movements of the world.  Circuits blown.  Living is Christ.  Dying is gain.  Ok.  I’m starting today over.  With fried wires and my whole body waiting on the voice of the Lord.  I swear today will be different than it might have been.